Circus of Life and Death

Well I wrote this verse in the back of the hearse
On the way to meet my maker
He's a big bad Devil goes by the name Neville
And I think he lives in Jamaica

The story begins when I was juggling pins
As a member of a travelling circus
I shared a caravan with The Worlds Strongest man
An Irish vegan called Fergus

We used to dine each night with the dwarves by candlelight
And sometimes with the bearded lady
But her table habits stunk and her beard was full of gunk
And the gin made her real unsteady

Well one fateful night during an elephant dung fight
I hit one of the Siamese Twins
She tumbled to the ground also dragging her sister down
And cracked her skull on my box of pins

Now the Ringmaster was crying cos he really had been trying
To pimp the twins out for a fee
They had 1 breast too many and a double jack n danny
And a marriage offer from Thierry Henry

Well they were taken to the wizard a cross-dresser called Izzard
To see if the twins could be saved
He said that ones a goner but with the other hanging on 'er
Lets just hope that Thierrys depraved

So my fateful nights result was a boxing kangaroo court
Where I was tried for half a murder
In my own feeble defense I said the dung was much to dense
And the guilt lies with the elephants feeder

Well much to my suprise I was struck between the eyes
With a tin of Prime Elephant Chow
But just before collapse I saw the flutter of tent flaps
And Papa Lazarou said your my toy now

For the next month and a bit I lived in the Tiger pit
Surrounded by death in orange stripes
But I soothed the giant cats with my old song and dance acts
And Beatles classics on the panpipes

But sadly from the tigers Id contracted extinctitus
A disease of greed which has no cure
So the knifethrower named Mendov gave me a circus send off
And stuck me to a health centre door

So now I lie dead writing yet still happily delighting
In the life I lived on the road
But heed this word of warning as you go about your morning
Always double-check an elephants load!